1. Do not kiss its lips: I cannot emphasise this enough--there are more germs found in a dog's mouth than its back-end. Kissing your dog can make you very ill. I wouldn't dream of kissing my dog.
2. Do not threaten it with a working vacuum cleaner. Dogs hate them.
3. Do not shout at your dog. That is out of order. A firm 'no' will suffice.
4. Do not kick your dog. That is a big no-no.
5. Do not feed your dog chocolate. Chocolate is like poison to a dog. And they like the taste of it.
6. Do not allow your dog to attack the postman. This is a court case waiting to happen. And a judge may have your dog destroyed. You don't want to lose your family pet because of a mishap.
7. Do not feed your dog beer. Okay, they do it in the movies. But movies ain't real.
8. Do not give your dog cocaine. It has been known to happen. This is a sure way to an instant death.
9. Do not let your dog stick its head out of the car window, while the car is moving. This is dangerous. The dog is likely to get hit by a vehicle. Or fall out of the window.
10. Do not kill your dog. There is no excuse for cruelty. And they are man's best friend. They would do anything for you.
11. (okay, 11 items) Do not share the same bed as your dog or sleep in its basket. Hygiene reasons. The scent of Wet Labrador is hard to get rid of.
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